Day 1 in Laos

Really sorry, I know they are way overdue and I haven't really blogged coherently in quite a while.

NOTE: These are excerpts from my daily email updates to home while I was away on a nine-day mission trip last year to Laos and Ubon(Thailand). Many a time we go away on mission trips thinking that we are going to bless the less fortunate, but return as the ones who have been blessed.


We're sitting at the back of a truck now, en route to the border Thailand shares with Vietnam, with the warm sunshine on our backs and the chilly wind blowing enthusiastically past us. Its not the most luxurious ride, nor the most comfortable, but with the sense of team spirit and God's presence with us, its an extraordinary blessing to be here.

I learnt today that we aren't just here to encourage and minister to others, but also to receive. The ones who were are reaching out too will also be used by Him to minister to us. It is a time of spiritual growth for us individually, and also as a team.

Yet the devil lurks on the outskirts waiting to trip us.

Without a doubt, this will be a life-changing experience for each and everyone of us. I personally don't know what to expect in Laos. We're been warned that there will most likely be no toilets, no electricity. It is the most un-me type trip ever and yet I find myself excited in a positive way. (Though I will probably be squemish about doing no. 2 behind a bush).

Isaiah 40:29-31 has really stuck with me for this trip and everytime I feel like its starting to become overwhelming I hold onto that piece of His Word and recite it in my head.

In the dark

Jesus said, "What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight" (Matt 10:27 NIV).

1. It's in your worst moments that God gives you some of your best insights.
2. People will listen to you because you've 'earned the right to speak'. So sit tight and let God teach you things which can only be learned in the dark.

God, speak to me, now that I am in the dark.

God help me

In an old Peanuts cartoon, Charles Schulz shows Charlie Brown at the beach building a magnificent sandcastle. It's a work of art. As he stands back to admire it, suddenly it's destroyed by a big wave. In the last frame he says, "There must be a lesson here, but for the life of me I don't know what it is."

Jesus and my Titanic

"In Mark 4:39 when Jesus "ordered the wind and waves to be quiet" the Bible says "everything was calm" (CEV). In the midst of the storm, ask Him to come and stand in the bow of your boat, and to speak peace to the things that are upsetting you. He'll do it!"

- extract from The Word for Today, Rhema Broadcasting Group

Faithfulness of the angry

This is a particularly hard week.

Continued faithfulness and obedience while I was seething with a cold silent anger, was so difficult, my insides churned. I tried to see His hand in it, tried to bring glory to Him through what I did, how I reacted, the words I said. I tried my darnest and it was still a poor attempt.

It like being in my own head, but not understanding how all the gears worked. My anger was ferocious, white hot, and vulgar; built up in layers of debt, expectations, bitterness and discontentment.

Be still my heart. Be still and know that He is God.

Honesty

I was just reading someone's blog and "honesty" popped up in my head.

Have I been honest with myself?
Have I been honest with the people in my life?
Have I been honest with God?

No. Not enough.

Woah!

Oh dear. It really has been a long time since I've updated this blog. I really feel bad about it but at the same time, just really needed to take a break from everything and wipe the (mental) slate clean again with mindless television.

My life right now in point form and hopefully in chronological order:

1. Nathan and I are back together and in it for the long haul. We are really working hard with God, and our spiritual leaders, to be better people, to break the strongholds in our lives like anger, impatience. We communicate better and take the time to try to understand the other is coming from. As we make closer to God as individuals, we will get closer to each other as well.

2. I've left my job at the agency and have spent the last month with friends, family, myself, serving in church... and not as much as I should have with God. It has been awesome not having a work schedule to live by. Truly a period of rest that I thank God for.

3. Made the decision to go on a mission trip to Thailand and Laos. We leave on the 14th of December and come back Christmas eve. I am totally psyched for this trip! My heart has always been for Thailand. I have often wondered why, and I think God is showing me some of the reasons. In a country like Singapore, it is so early to be comfortable and live life without God. We have so many luxuries that we take for granted. I really look forward to seeing a small glimpse of how BIG God is, how far His love reaches. It is truly a blessing to be used by God. My Lord breathes stars, yet gives us the opportunity to be part of His work.

4. Our prayers have been confirmed! G and I will be starting a digital agency together. It will be a ministry and we pray that it will bring glory to God. Since we've decided to take that first step, day by day, God shown us His hand in everything and God is good. More details to come once everything is official. But do keep us in your prayers! Prayer is powerful.

I feel so so small. Yet, God, who is infinite, shows me so much love and care. He knows exactly how many hairs there are on my head. He bothers about small small tiny me!

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 15:13 (NIV)