lets go back to december

My boyfriend and I have been together for more than a year now. Lets dub him Nathan. If you haven't realised by now, my name is not really Gracie either. So Nathan and I have been dating for more than a year now. We've hung out with each other families many times over, and
my mother is constantly chucking food at him in a typically Chinese way. Most importantly, we love each other. Very much so. (you can stop gagging now.)

He was born to staunch Christian parents and has been blessed to have known Jesus his entire life. Nathan's faith is unshakable and he serves the Lord in that same manner. Yet he's also fairly liberal, having been educated abroad almost his entire life. Lets just say he can chug down beer like a frat boy and we have both been known to boogie it up on occasion. I don't even want to remember the kind of antics we've both managed to get ourselves into. Funny stories, good times.

So back on track... As a couple, we didn't start out right. When we started dating, I was still pretty far away from God. At that time, He had already been sending me notes for quite a while, though I had yet to respond. I'm stubborn like a mule. We started seeing each other and soon we were sleeping together. Conveniently, he lives alone. I stayed over every weekend and truth be told, we were at it fairly often. Like bunnies.

Then come early February 2007, everything came tumbling down around us. I found myself pregnant. Both of us didn't see any other way out. We were, are, both so young. He was still in university and it was just mere months into our relationship. So we got rid of it. I had an abortion. It was like a part of me had been crushed beyond repair, then something crawled into my heart, died, and started rotting there. Both of us cried so much. I had never felt so lost, so in despair. Eventually, I picked myself off the ground, and put myself into my work. Apart from the occasional teary breakdown I had, we barely talked about it. I think both of us just wanted to pretend that it didn't happen. That things were perfect.

Even though they weren't.

Right after the abortion, I started taking the pill and things just stayed as they were. I still stayed over on weekends and while we were safer, we weren't really all that much smarter with our bodies. For an entire year, even after I found God, our relationship stayed that way. We both talked about it though. We knew it didn't honour God but we just couldn't stop. It had become such a large part of our relationship. Separately, this bugged the both of us and together we talked about it. and we talked about it. and talked some more. Sex had wound itself around the foundations of our relationship and we couldn't get it of the serpent. Not on our own anyway.

Then last December, Nathan went off for a 4D3N young adults camp that his church had organised. Right after his camp he drove over to my place, broke down and cried. God had spoken to him while he was in camp.

We must have held each other for over an hour, just sobbing and talking. That December day, we invited God into our relationship. For the first time, we prayed together as a couple asking for God's help to break the bond that Satan had on us, for strength as a couple and individually and for His presence in our relationship.