The Someday List

1. Watch M rock out in front of a live audience

2. Catch Paul Anka's big band version of Oasis's Wonderwall, live

3. Hit up Cova

4. NYE

5. For M to meet with my girls, get interrogated and laugh loads.

6. April Fool's

7. Travel

8. To be able to make actual plans

9. A dog named boo

Yes, these may always be hopelessly romantic dreams of ours, but we have them anyway.

And this list can only keep growing for now.

This season in summary

Okay, this is a massive information overload, esp since I've already posted 5 entries before this, but I might as well fill this blog up with whatever I can, while I remember to do so.

I will do it quick, in brief points.

1. I will be leaving in 4 days for a mission trip to Hanoi, where we will be holding workshops for up to 150 youths and some 40-50 youth leaders. Please keep the team in prayer. Most of us have never taught anything before, much less spoken in front of that many people. We aren't leaders in church, with the exception of one Pastor Henry who's leading the team up, so the butterflies in our tummies are going kinda crazy.
2. Mission trip to Hanoi - God has shown His provision time and time again. We prayed for the right team to come together, and He brought forth the most eclectic team mix. It could only be God... yet it works in a strange and wonderful way. He's provided for us in terms of funds as well. We're covering our own air tickets, meals and accommodation of course, but we prayed for funding for the rental of the conference rooms in Hanoi, sponsorship for some of the youth, love gifts, etc and He sent someone to bless us with $3,000. Another team member's dad is sponsoring the printing of our team notebooks, and a friend stepped up to sponsor travel insurance for the team. How good is our Lord!!
3. I started seeing someone, M, then stopped it because of promptings from the Holy Spirit. Yes, the feelings are still there, and yes he checks off many of the things I want in a partner, but I trust in the Holy Spirit and I just want to be obedient to His leading. Only if we both walk closer to God will we ever be able to get closer to each other. I think M, needs to get closer to God first. I don't want to be a distraction, nor the reason for him to seek God. I know I can only be with someone who loves God more than anything else, me included. As much as it hurts us both at the moment, we both know that it isn't right by God right now. It seems to be a matter of time, however, God's timing works on a different clock, so we will see. I know He holds tomorrow, and I know He holds my hand.
4. I've started mentoring someone in church as well. Its a lot more difficult than I thought it would ever be. So if you get a chance, pray for me please?
5. I'm praying for what God wants me to do with my life. I think its about time I found out about my life's calling, not just my seasonal duties. Surely it can't be to teach?

I know who holds tomorrow

This song was just sent to me by a friend. God speaks beautifully through music. This may just be the song to carry me through this season.

Jesus and my Titanic

"In Mark 4:39 when Jesus "ordered the wind and waves to be quiet" the Bible says "everything was calm" (CEV). In the midst of the storm, ask Him to come and stand in the bow of your boat, and to speak peace to the things that are upsetting you. He'll do it!"

- extract from The Word for Today, Rhema Broadcasting Group

Woah!

Oh dear. It really has been a long time since I've updated this blog. I really feel bad about it but at the same time, just really needed to take a break from everything and wipe the (mental) slate clean again with mindless television.

My life right now in point form and hopefully in chronological order:

1. Nathan and I are back together and in it for the long haul. We are really working hard with God, and our spiritual leaders, to be better people, to break the strongholds in our lives like anger, impatience. We communicate better and take the time to try to understand the other is coming from. As we make closer to God as individuals, we will get closer to each other as well.

2. I've left my job at the agency and have spent the last month with friends, family, myself, serving in church... and not as much as I should have with God. It has been awesome not having a work schedule to live by. Truly a period of rest that I thank God for.

3. Made the decision to go on a mission trip to Thailand and Laos. We leave on the 14th of December and come back Christmas eve. I am totally psyched for this trip! My heart has always been for Thailand. I have often wondered why, and I think God is showing me some of the reasons. In a country like Singapore, it is so early to be comfortable and live life without God. We have so many luxuries that we take for granted. I really look forward to seeing a small glimpse of how BIG God is, how far His love reaches. It is truly a blessing to be used by God. My Lord breathes stars, yet gives us the opportunity to be part of His work.

4. Our prayers have been confirmed! G and I will be starting a digital agency together. It will be a ministry and we pray that it will bring glory to God. Since we've decided to take that first step, day by day, God shown us His hand in everything and God is good. More details to come once everything is official. But do keep us in your prayers! Prayer is powerful.

I feel so so small. Yet, God, who is infinite, shows me so much love and care. He knows exactly how many hairs there are on my head. He bothers about small small tiny me!

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Romans 15:13 (NIV)

Hand in hand

I caught a glimpse of a father holding the hand of his little girl as they walked down the street this morning. The first thought that came to mind was: my father never did that. And then I thought, yet I've held the hands of so many men, only to be heartbroken.

But I've found the hand that will never let me down. His hands will always be there to catch me when I fall, to hold me in a dance, to walk with me every step of the way.

Paradise

This morning, I woke up with one word clinging to the seat of my lips. Paradise.

Instantaneously, I thought about Jesus Christ. I think its so amazing how my mind now automatically associates "Paradise" and "Jesus Christ", just like in those word association games. God changed the way it works! In the past I think I would have gone "Paradise? Phuket!"

Then I thought to myself, how cool it would be to be in paradise with Jesus. How easy it would be to just give up everything here to be with Him, how much that would rock. I thought about the most beautiful beaches on earth, I thought about the most wonderous animals, captivating sights and sounds, delicious smells and tastes that we have on earth and thought "nah, its nothing in comparison to what is waiting for me in Heaven."

And I can't wait to get to heaven! To be with Him.

But then I realised that when I met with God in paradise, I wanted to be able to say that I had lived my life well and fulfilled His purpose for me. Until then, I'll be here.

Father, please continue to reveal to me the purpose that you have intended for me. My Lord please fill me with wisdom and discernment to know what it is, please fill me with the strength and courage to obey, whatever it may be, and I pray that you continue to guide my hand in all that I do.

Father, I can't wait to see you at the end of this road. Papa, I will try to make you proud. I love you Lord.

Like a hammer on the head

I am the sort of girl that has her life planned out in five-year blocks.

Obviously, plans have been tweaked to accommodate life's hiccups along the way, but I've pretty much scored all the targeted goals since I first sat down a decade ago and decided what I wanted to do with my life a decade ago.

It only just hit me that for the first time, ever, I have no plans for my life after October.

But the Lord does, and that's all that matters.

Growing in faith

Oh gosh, it has been quite a while hasn’t it?

I have resigned from my job. With two months to go before my final day with the agency, and no job lined up, I’m really trusting in God to open the doors for me for whatever He intends for the next season to bring.

I guess I sit in anticipation and excitement, but also in faith, because I know that this is not what He intends for me to do right and with my resignation, I am obeying.

We’ve been praying, both G and myself, for a confirmation on the digital agency and also that if it is of Him, that the Lord may throw the doors wide open for us. My prayer has also been that He send us investors, good people to support us, as well as new business for that agency. While its only been two weeks since we’ve started praying about it, we’ve already been approached by an investor, along with some other business opportunities. I wonder if it is God’s way of confirming that for us. We’ll also definitely need wise counsel from our leaders/mentors. In the quick chat that I’ve managed to have with my mentor, A, she seems to think that it’s a great idea. I’ll be speaking to her in detail tonight over dinner.

I guess a small part of me worries. I’ve never left a job without having signed on the dotted line with another company. I guess it’s the security that I’m leaving behind. Job security and knowing that I’ll be getting a nice salary at the end of every month and not having to worry about expenses and such. But I give that burden and anxiety up to God. There’s safety and security in His arms and He’s the only one that will never fail us.

When Jesus told Peter, "Why do you doubt?" He was saying, "Don't allow this storm to overwhelm you. I'm right here with you. Your problem is under My feet, therefore it's under your feet too. Just keep your eyes on Me, keep walking by faith and stick to the plan!"

I’m sticking to the plan!